I love food I hate food

I am involved in a vicious cycle as I deliberately skip a very essential program every day.
Here is my schedule:
Eat&Drink--->Work--->E & D--->TV--->E & D--->Nap--->TV--->E & D--->TV--->E & D
Findings:
1. I have gone through the self blaming stage. (Refer to earlier post pls) I started to enjoy my precious holiday (Once a year)
2. I didn't go to the gym for several days. My dad joined the same gym and he's a very good force to kick me out of my shell. Yet I stayed home, turned on the air-con and enjoyed the soap TV series.
3. Obviously I eat TOO MUCH MEALS. I use MUCH as I couldn't count the frequency and the calories. The meals were nothing light ok. Last night was a typical example. I had 1 piece of pizza (cheese crust), 3/4 Italian meatballs, 1/4 box of spinach chicken macaroni, 1/2 bowl of corn cream soup as solid input. For the liquid part, I had 1 bottle of soft drink, 3 cups of orange juice, 1 pack of sweet to death tea. Guess I have taken in at least 3000 calories solely for dinner.

I feel like I am a schizophrenic. It seems like I don't understand what is real and what is imaginary. Logical me said I have to keep a balance of food and exercise. Devil me drags me down to my little sofa. I felt guilty when I lay on the sofa yet I was sucked on it. I don't know how to make a good choice for myself. Pathetic.
I am a loser.